Author: Obsidian Girl
Warnings: Bad words and thematic torture as seen in the episode Sedition.
Spoilers: episode one-one and episode two-six. Pilot and Sedition
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be, but I like playing with my Jake and Heather dolls. I am poor and owe more people than is even remotely funny. So, please don’t sue me.
Summary: Jake finds comfort in his dreams, but are they really just dreams?
Author's Note: Hello, fellow Jake and Heather 'shippers! My name is Sid and I recently started writing for this fandom. I am posting this sans beta because the wonderful ladies that beta for my Jake and Heather fics might not appreciate some of the words I use in this fic and it is so close to the holidays.
He’d lost track of time. The blaring light overhead burned through his eyelids and added to the already stifling room; he hadn’t slept in what felt like forever. He struggled into sitting position against the wall and tried to shield his face from the ever present torture of light. It didn’t help. His Grandfather had told him that Beck was trying to soften him up, to get him to give Stanley up.
Jake couldn’t…No, Jake wouldn’t give him up even though he felt if he got any softer he's be jelly. He’d watched Stanley in the garage and seen shades of himself after the total cluster fuck in Saffa. He wouldn’t let Stanley lose his freedom on top of everything else. Jake had screwed up his own life and he wouldn’t let Stanley through what was left of his away.
He felt dizzy with the need for sleep and felt his mind slip away making him feel weightless. When he opened his eyes he was sprawled out on the bench at his grandfather’s hunting cabin. The sun was setting and lit the sky with orange and red hues. “I thought you’d be gone a lot longer,” his Grandpa chuckled. “But then if I had a woman as wonderful as yours I’d spend all my time locked away in a remote cabin, too.” His grandpa nodded toward the fence with a proud smile and Jake followed his gaze until it rested on Heather. She had her hair pulled back in a loose ponytail and was perched on the bumper of the old Bronco working on the they used to drive out to the cabin. “Mighty fine choice,” Jake would have laughed at the lecherous grin on his Grandpa’s face if he wasn’t still staring at Heather; she was wearing baggy overalls and a white sleeveless tee. “Took you long enough to realize it, but hell we Green men are a stubborn lot.”
Without conscious thought Jake stood up and walked toward Heather afraid to glance away lest she disappear. When he was only a few feet away she glanced up and smiled her sweetest smile. Her hands were covered in grease and she had a smudge on her forehead, but Jake felt his heart constrict with emotion. “Hey, sleepy-head I thought you were gonna take a nap.” Her voice was just as sweet as he remembered.
“No,” he murmured. “I can’t sleep there’s too much light and I‘m thirsty.”
Frowning Heather wiped her hands on a rag and stepped down off the Bronco before moving to his side. Lifting her hand she brushed his hair out of his eyes and murmured seriously, “I know, but don‘t worry it will all be over soon.” Her soft hand cupped his cheek and it felt like a cool breeze against his sweaty skin. “I’m sorry you have to go through this.”
“Don’t,” he shook his head and felt his voice crack from lack of moisture. “Don’t be sorry, Heather, you didn’t do this.”
“Here drink this,” she murmured and suddenly there was a large glass of water in her hand. Jake drank it greedily. “I wish I could help you.” Her eyes filled with tears and her voice was achingly tender. Jake cupped her face in his hands and let his thumbs smooth away her tears.
“You are helping,” he smiled and he could feel the chapped skin on his lips crack painfully. “And it isn’t like I haven’t been heading to this point my whole life.”
“You don’t deserve this,” she cupped his cheek. “No body deserves this…”
“You don’t know,” he denied as he closed his eyes and found his mind winging it’s way through the past. “I’ve done things.”
“I know,” she whispered and suddenly they were sitting on the ground with his back against the wall of the brightly lit room he’d been imprisoned in for countless days with Heather between his spread thighs as she pressed her forehead to his.
“No,” he shook his head as he thought about stroking his fingers into her hair, dislodging the rubber band and making it fall about her shoulders. “You don’t…“ He shook his head. “Don’t know or you wouldn’t look at me like you do...I hurt everyone that ever cared about me and as fucked up as this hell we’re living is it’s my chance to fix things…I knew that night on the bus that you were too good…Too sweet…I didn’t want to be the one to taint you. I needed your faith and strength…I want you, Heather. The darkest, deepest corner of my soul claws at me to give in and take what you offer, but the last glimmer of good in me knows I’ll destroy you like everyone else I love.”
“That isn’t true,” she denied stroking his cheek with her fingers wiping away the few tears his dehydrated body could produce. “And it isn’t fair. Emily…”
“Emily knows I’m no good.” Jake closed his eyes. “She remembers and I can’t forget, but you when you smiled at me that first night I was lost and scared and for a little while I forgot, everything. You make me forget…I can‘t forget.”
“Listen to me, Jake.” Heather soothed her thumb over his chapped lips. “Nothing you’ve done or anyone else has done is worthy of this…This torture!” Pressing her lips to his forehead she hugged him tight before murmuring against his cheek, “Forgive me, Jake.” When she started to pull away a sob caught in her throat.
“Don’t leave,” he begged wishing he could hold her to him and suddenly they were at the cabin and she was pressed against his side and his arms were wrapped tightly around her waist. “Just want to hold you while I sleep.”
“Okay, baby, okay,” Heather murmured as she gently wrapped her arms around his shoulders and brushed a light kiss over his closed eyes as tears flowed unchecked from hers.